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is this anything

~ a compendium, by Nancy Coughlin

is this anything

Tag Archives: metaphor

Fifty (a poem)

07 Friday Oct 2016

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age, both, memory, metaphor, poem

 

getty_rf_photo_of_sliced_onions

Fifty

Sometimes it seems I’m every age at once:
not in memory merely, but in form,
like Russian nesting dolls with just the latest
mother breathing out. Or like a tree
with fifty rings, so that even my seedling
start remains, swaddled by its future
matrioshki; comprising, still, the marvels
of its quick, brave year in the sun.

Sea change (a poem)

23 Tuesday Aug 2016

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bioluminescence, change, freedom, grace, metaphor, miracle, poem, recovery

Bioluminescence-at-sea-23409

Sea change

Diverge from paths that wreck you needlessly.
Heel sharply leeward. Plow a new lane, lit
succinctly by synaptic sparks that flit
like fireflies in a miner’s headlamp. See–

like phytoplankton woken by the wake
of midnight ships–your bioluminescence.
However faint and mythical, its blessings
enlighten every typhoon trail you take.

How desperate, how brave you must become,
then–heart lashed to the groaning helm—how free:
Re-draw your chart by plankton-light, mid-sea.
And mark in bold those routes that lead you home.

The odd things we love, when we love (a poem)

11 Wednesday May 2016

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apophenia, cats, choice, dogs, illusion, love, marriage, metaphor, poem, surrender, transience, wanda gag

 

dogs

The odd things we love, when we love

Henry cares only for films about humans. Except
when he’s high, when he garners delight and soft
consolation from the documentary adventures

of other mammals. Dogs, in particular, warm his
weary cockles. He loves dogs more than any lover
of dogs I’ve known before, and I don’t mind telling you,

I’ve known my share. If I had nothing else to love
him for (but really there are ninety-seven things,
which I intend to list ad nauseam in future poems–

stay tuned!), I’d love him merely for his earnest
love of dogs.        And yet, if one day he went mad,
and started loving cats (against which I hold nothing,

due to allergy), I’d click my heels and spin around, and
love his love of cats. Because, you know, that’s how
we got here. That’s how it’s worked, so far. Ailuromania*,

to give but one example, becomes just the thing at hand,
the current metaphor: a pin, a peg, a cross, a stake,
a nail–a strong, convenient hook to hang our love on.

millions-of-cats-man2

*ailuromania: a passion for cats

Now (a poem)

01 Sunday May 2016

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acceptance, compassion, eternity, helplessness, loss, love, marriage, metaphor, now, poem, surrender, thinking out loud, transience, zen

puddle2

Now

I pause to think how lonesome-long I’ve felt
that snowflakes never die but merely melt.
And so with us: this small, liquescent love.
We started–aimless, frozen flecks of fluff…

You know the rest, if either does. I’ve guessed
at reasons for our muteness: coalesced–
a lukewarm puddle, now—we know we know
already what the other knows (and more).

We pre-discern the gist of sighs. Each stone
that shocks the other, ripples as our own.
You wake so early, now. I sleep so late,
abiding time till we evaporate.

Groupie (a poem)

26 Friday Jun 2015

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love, metaphor, poem

Groupie

I went on google images just now
and stared at your face in a thousand
poses. And every now and then among
the different yous, for reasons I still
don’t get, there’d be juxtaposed right
next to you something not-you. A girl
on a horse, say, or Clint Black, or
the periodic table. Needless to say,
this was distracting. Then suddenly I
thought, but no, it’s true! You are a
girl on a horse! You are Clint Black!
You are the periodic table! And I fell
headlong into the chasm of knowing all
your metaphors at once, was ravished
by the army of your chameleon selves.

torment (a quote from Nassim Nicholas Taleb)

23 Thursday Oct 2014

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antifragile, metaphor, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, paradox, quotation, randomness, surrender, zen

“Like tormenting love, some thoughts are so antifragile that you feed them by trying to get rid of them.” –Nassim Nicholas Taleb

magnificent obsession

grok* (journal entry)

22 Monday Sep 2014

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acceptance, apophenia, autism, choice, comfort, family, grief, grokking, Hannah, illusion, journal, loss, love, memory, metaphor, motherhood, quote, robert heinlein, serendipity, slice of life, thinking out loud, zen

 

vintage-packaging-flower-seed-packets-from-thes_icnfe_4

(http://thepackaginginsider.com/vintage-packaging-flower-seed-packets-from-the-1800s/) (lovely!)

Journal entry, August 28, 2014

Cleaning house yesterday, on a forgotten shelf I found a shirt of Hannah’s. A stretchy Goodwill t-shirt, powder blue, with folksy flower-seed-packet art on the front. Minor stains, of course, plus a hole in the back collar where someone (I?) had clumsily lopped off the tag. [Shirt tags made Hannah itch.] I held the shirt to my face and breathed it in like an idiot seeking the flowers. But no, it was just that the shirtfront–and then the shirt’s inside–was the only part that hadn’t been exposed to nine years of dust.

And I believed the shirt still smelled like Hannah, believed that I could know–could grok*–her presence, her self, merely through these greedy inhalations of not-quite-random air. I sat on my bedroom floor and pulled the shirt onto my head (think of a blind bank-robber), and then, to a point far past absurdity and fast approaching asphyxia, I breathed in and out its ineffably Hannah smell. (Must, dust, detergent, every mundane staleness, but something of her there too–something.) I chose to feel myself awash in her essence. As in the many dreams I’d dreamed, hope-caught, throughout her life, I felt free once more to slip beneath the surface of Hannah’s embryonic, oceanic world, and to breathe, however feebly, underwater.

I chose to feel–and to believe–all this on such a primal level that the mind had no clue of the choice till it was made. But with a shrug, quite used by now to the heart’s vagaries, the mind humored us both. I nuzzled for one last deep second against the thread-worn seams that defined the shirt’s armpits. Then I pulled the shirt off and held it awhile. I dusted it, refolded it, and–ah, my darling girl, now what to do? Replace it on the forgotten shelf? Cleave it into rags? Throw it away? I couldn’t, can’t, decide this yet.

Ah yes, but still, how well I know: let go, let go, let go, let go.

——

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok:

*Grok /ˈɡrɒk/ is a word coined by Robert A. Heinlein for his 1961 science-fiction novel, Stranger in a Strange Land, where it is defined as follows:

Grok means to understand so thoroughly that the observer becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, lose identity in group experience. It means almost everything that we mean by religion, philosophy, and science—and it means as little to us (because of our Earthling assumptions) as color means to a blind man.

breathe (a quotation from Virgil) (a tweet)

17 Wednesday Sep 2014

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acceptance, autism, comfort, grace, helplessness, metaphor, quotation, surrender, transience, tweet

On a day like this I breathe a weary mantra:
“Hug the shore; let others try the deep.” –Virgil
baby elephant

pareidolia in art (quote from Leonardo da Vinci)

17 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by is this anything in quotation, random thought

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accident, apophenia, art, both, coincidence, freedom, illusion, James Lawley, Leonardo da Vinci, metaphor, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, pareidolia, quotation, randomness, serendipity, transience, wabi sabi, writing, zen

[Pareidolia is ‘a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant, a form of apophenia.’]

From wikipedia:  In his notebooks, Leonardo da Vinci wrote of pareidolia as a device for painters:

“If you look at any walls spotted with various stains or with a mixture of different kinds of stones, if you are about to invent some scene you will be able to see in it a resemblance to various different landscapes adorned with mountains, rivers, rocks, trees, plains, wide valleys, and various groups of hills. You will also be able to see divers combats and figures in quick movement, and strange expressions of faces, and outlandish costumes, and an infinite number of things which you can then reduce into separate and well conceived forms.”

pareidolia (1)

 

@zerosumr (a tweet)

27 Sunday Jul 2014

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acceptance, apophenia, both, comfort, death, friendship, grace, imkertje, metaphor, miracle, paradox, randomness, surrender, transience, tweet, zen

u know how i know yer Here, mijn schatje? Coz w/ yr death u finally taught me yr ineffable truth: that Here is an infinite place.

laughing buddha

 

 

less ( a tweet)

25 Wednesday Jun 2014

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balance, choice, freedom, less, loss, love, metaphor, mijn imkertje, serenity, simplicity, surrender, tweet, zen

The joy of less: if I choose the narrow bed, any blanket will be wide enough to cover it.Image

blind (an extended tweet)

17 Saturday May 2014

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apophenia, blindness, both, compassion, grace, illusion, kindness, metaphor, randomness, tweet, vision, zen

Clearly we’re all blind. We each “know” just one small part of the elephant. Thus, how absurd to be arguing with such fury when we really ought to be comparing notes.

 Image

is this anything (an extended tweet)

11 Friday Apr 2014

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acceptance, don't know, helplessness, imkertje, metaphor, mushin, paradox, surrender, truth, tweet, writing, zen

Some days I don’t feel like searching [through clover] for [four-leaf] metaphors. I want to tell this story straight, for once–but I honestly don’t know how. As it is, can you glimpse it, love? Could it be hiding, maybe, in the spaces between my words?Image

 

 

both all and nothing, too (tweet)

24 Monday Mar 2014

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balance, both, metaphor, non-duality, paradox, thinking out loud, transience, tweet, yin yang, zen

The trick: to re-remember that we’re Both. Both sea and wave. Both log and fire. Both noun and verb.

holding-praising-the-sun-silhouette

Icari (thinking out loud)

20 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by is this anything in Evolving ideas, journal entry, random thought

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adventure, bliss, bruegel, freedom, grace, icarus, illusion, metaphor, paradox, play, surrender, thinking out loud, zen

Glancing up from armchair reverie, I watch two BASE-jumpers on a PBS documentary called “The Birdmen”. They leap from the fabulous cliff, wearing suits with stunted wings—not so much wings as webbing, as if their outflung arms and legs are tissued to their bodies–brightly flavored sails that billow as the young men fall. They look like neon kites, these men, and they fly seemingly free for a long while–relatively speaking–and then when the time is ripe they open parachutes and float the final yardage to the ground.

As the first one lands, the camera rushes in and asks how-do-you-feel. The jumper shouts terrific great whooohooooo. Then the other man returns to earth and the camera can only, mutely, watch as the flyers recombine—wide-eyed, whooping, babbling but articulate, reviewing every millimoment—each angle of the sun, each sudden rocky outcrop, each barely traversable river of wind, and it’s clear not just that they’re brothers now, at least for this moment, but that the two of them speak a language different from the rest of us–an idiom very complex, full of shortcuts and inside jokes, exotically precise in its vocabulary, references, metaphors, silences. We are, all of us—or nearly all of us–outsiders to their vision. They have no way, not really, to explain who they’ve become, who they’re becoming, who they’ve been all along—no way and maybe no need to explain such impossibles to the earthbound likes of us. Even when, later (as I half-hear them, from the kitchen now), they conjure similes (“free as an eagle”…) to express to the camera the feeling, the meaning of their adventure, comparisons don’t help; the abyss between us is unbridgeable. We can’t know what they know unless or until we do what they’ve done.

And this is an essence of zen, too, I think—if you meander far enough along the nowhere path, you start to learn and speak, however haltingly, a language no one else can know unless they’ve been here too. And it can leave you feeling alone, if you don’t feel a partner beside you on your adventure: someone in the same clownish, precarious costume, poised atop the same magnificent cliff, wishing you smooth sailing as you both leap—whooohooooo!–into the void of no-mind. It can feel lonely, plunging into that placeless place alone. But of course you have to not-mind feeling precisely thus, even as you also see–with your usual wry laugh at how (again!) you’ve had to re-recall it–that you’re not alone at all. We’re all flames in the fireplace, dancing like puppets up from behind a guileful log. We each seem singular, independent of each other, so that it’s only when we really look–beneath, behind, around, past, through–that we see how fused we are. We’re fingers of the same hand, leaves drifting downward from the same tall tree, offshoots from the same root, flames rising high and low from the same all-nurturing, all-consuming fire.

icarus2

yab yum (a tweet)

11 Tuesday Mar 2014

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apophenia, imkertje, love, memory, metaphor, sex, thinking out loud, tweet, yab yum, zen

Polishing a pipe today,

its shaft blown sleek and stony-smooth,

when words you taught me leap to heart,

and heart leaps headlong into you.

Image

my first haiku since 5th grade (poem)

08 Saturday Mar 2014

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balance, comfort, haiku, happiness, metaphor, peace, play, transience, warmth, writing, yin yang, zen

The heat, a soothing
roar, clicks off again, creates
a soothing silence.

Image

typo (diary excerpt)

07 Friday Mar 2014

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death, fear, free-wheeling fifth-letter change, illusion, imbalance, metaphor, randomness, typo, zen

…  I’ve noticed that Tara [my friend; also, my beleaguered housekeeper] maintains a fifteen-minute window on either side of her arrival. Right now the time is 3:40. In five minutes I must begin to be on the lookout for her. And so it seems these days with death too—I feel so often lately the anxiety before the anxiety. How dare I say I live forever, when I’m so terrified of dying? I’m afraud …

Image

[Apologies to Tara for comparing her to death. (She is, in fact, the opposite.)]

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acceptance apophenia autism balance both choice comfort compassion freedom grace grief happiness illusion love memory metaphor paradox poem quotation randomness serendipity serenity surrender thinking out loud transience tweet writing zen

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