…  I’ve noticed that Tara [my friend; also, my beleaguered housekeeper] maintains a fifteen-minute window on either side of her arrival. Right now the time is 3:40. In five minutes I must begin to be on the lookout for her. And so it seems these days with death too—I feel so often lately the anxiety before the anxiety. How dare I say I live forever, when I’m so terrified of dying? I’m afraud …

[Apologies to Tara for comparing her to death. (She is, in fact, the opposite.)]